Leaving
by Happyness
Summary: Starts the moment Maria's left the von Trapp's Only this time the Captain can stop her from leaving just in time.
1. Secrets

_Okay, my first try :P I'm only gonna update this story if I get enough reviews ;) So, it's all up to you folks :P Hope ya like _

**Chapter 1: Secrets**

For a summers eve the night was cold and chilly. The wind was blowing softly through the trees and stars were flickering brightly above Maria's head as she closed the front door and walked towards the gates.

With her thoughts on the ball that was still going on inside the house she turned around and stood still for a few moments while holding on to the handle of the gate. She smiled inwardly as she thought about the first time she'd walked those steps to the front doors. It seemed almost a lifetime ago, while in fact it couldn't have been more than 3 months or so. How she would miss the children after tonight, how she would miss their laughter. Friedrich's teasing, Gretl's giggling, Liesl's smiles. Oh, how she would miss them all. A tear escaped her eye and she sighed deeply.

"The Baroness was wrong." She closed her eyes.

"The Baroness was wrong." A few more tears escaped. Slowly she turned around again and leaned against the gate doors.

"She just couldn't have been right," Maria whispered to herself in a soft voice.

"I'm about to become a nun, I can't have feelings for anybody... I have to serve god, that's all that matters... I made a vow." It was as though the words she was saying came from a far away distance. Convincing herself of something she felt she didn't even know for sure. Oh yes, she had certain feelings for the captain, but she wasn't sure if they really were the feelings the Baroness had mentioned. She didn't even know if the captain really did feel the same. Yes, the Baroness had said he did; but still, those words didn't really convince her.

"Fräulein Maria?" yelled a voice from behind her. She startled and as she turned around she realized it was the Captain, standing in the doorway, who had called her. Light was pouring from behind him through the open door so she couldn't really see the expression on his face, but she imagined it to be one of utter surprise. He walked down the steps and came towards her. As he was coming closer Maria saw he was carrying a sheet of paper in his hand and another jolt of shock run through her body. She realized he'd already read the letter she left for him mere minutes ago on the hallway table. She was sure he just came outside to check if she'd already left.

"Fräulein?" He halted in front of her and tried to catch her eye but she was carefully avoiding his and pretended to be examining the ground in between them.

"What is this, Fräulein?" He held up the sheet of paper she had written on not even half an hour ago and looked up at it, trying as hard as she could to keep her emotions locked up inside. She then looked from the piece of paper up into his eyes, feeling her stomach twist the moment she locked hers with his.

"My goodbye note, Captain." Relief coursed through her as she realized her voice was quite steady. Surprised at this unusual answer he was quiet for a few seconds and then, just as simple as she had answered him, he stated;

"Yes I can see that, but what I would like to know is why you are leaving?"

"It says on the note why. I hope you can now excuse me, I must leave Captain." She turned to leave but as she did so he got a hold of her upper arm and turned her back to face him.

"I hope you understand that I can't just let you go running off into the night without a proper explanation as to what we've done wrong." He let go of her arm and Maria felt her tears coming back again, still determined not to let him see them. She looked down at the ground again and tried to push back the tears that were threatening to fall. He noticed the change in her, and reached out a hand to her chin. Somehow he knew that this change in her determination had to do with the fact that his words had hit home, and she would finally explain to him what this was all about, or at least he hoped she would. As his hand touched her chin he felt her shiver, and for a moment he was about to withdraw his hand, but determination and confusion took over his hesitation and he lifted her head up and forced her to look at him.

Maria felt his hand lifting her chin upwards and considered for a moment to pull her head away from his grip, but even before she could make up her mind her eyes were once again locked with his and this time she could not hold her tears back and warm droplets rolled down her cheek, softly falling on his hand that was still tenderly holding her chin up. Cursing herself inwardly for showing such weakness she turned away from him and stared into the darkness of the night.

"Maria..." He whispered, knowing fully well that this was the first time he had called her by her first name without using Fräulein.

"I know I properly don't have the authority, nor can I make decisions for you, but I beg of you; please come back inside so we can talk about whatever is bugging you. If you don't want to talk about it and you still wish to leave in the morning then you can do so, but at least say goodbye to the children. You owe them that much."

She knew that it would be utterly unfair towards the children if she left like this. If they ever found out that she, while the Captain had begged her to stay, left without saying goodbye, they would think she didn't care about them; they would think she hated them. They would once again lose a motherly figure in there lives and although she knew she could never replace their mother, she also knew she'd been a good friend and an important factor in getting their father back. The Captain was right, she couldn't do that to them, whatever feelings she had for the Captain. She just couldn't let his children hurt because of some feelings she herself could not identify. No, she had made up her mind. She would say a proper goodbye to the children. They deserved that much.


	2. Honesty

_Disclaimer: I do not own them, wish I did (L) But I can still play around with them... can't I ?_

_Woow, sorry that this one took me so long. I've been very busy. It's been like what? 2 months. Anyway, finished chapter 2 this evening. :P Thank you for all the wonderful reviews :P I really seriously doubted if I should continue with this story.. I still have those doubts though xD _

_First of all, I do not have a Beta reader and second of all I only write when I feel like it... So, to put it kindly I suck at this :P hahaha._

_Anyway I tried to write this chapter as good as possible. My original language isn't English, so, sorry about those grammar mistakes. _

_And well, reviews really help boost my ego so, keep 'em coming xD_

**Chapter 2: Honesty **

She looked back at the Captain and nodded her agreement. He let out a deep breath he didn't know he'd been holding and gave her a small smile.

"Thank you," he said while bending down to take the big carpet bag from her. Together they walked back towards the house.

Maria walked slowly behind the Captain and as they came closer to the house she could still hear the music play at the party she'd so hurriedly left, no more than an hour or so ago. When they'd entered the house the Captain closed the door softly behind them. The next moment he took her bag and placed it on the first step of the stairs and turned to face her again.

"You can put your guitar case next to your bag; Franz will take them upstairs for you. Now, if you don't mind, I would like to have a word with you in my study." She walked over to where her bags were located and put her guitar case next to it, then turned around and tried to face him again, but found she could not look up at him and instead looked down at the ground. She noticed that in the way he'd spoken to her, he was doing his best to sound soft and kind. A little bit too kind for her liking, as if he really didn't want to see her go, and she knew that she at least owed him some kind of explanation; she didn't have to tell him the whole truth. She didn't even have to tell him anything about what the Baroness had said to her. She would stick by what she had written in her letter, that she missed the abbey terribly. She knew that if she told him this he would not believe her; but who was he to tell her what she thought and felt at this moment? He could only guess as to why she had wished to leave so suddenly.

Deciding that that was the explanation she was going to give him, she looked up and nodded, finding that this time she could not tear her eyes away from his. For a few moments they just stood there. The look on his face reminded her of the look he had given her after they'd danced together. Oh, that dance... Memories filled her head for a while and finally, when she could not take it anymore, she looked down again, examining the floor as if the patterns on the cold and hard stones were the most interesting thing she had ever seen. Finally, when the silence felt like an eternity, she dared to look up at him again and she found he was still looking at her. He gave a small smile and she returned a genuine, yet ghostly, smile.

"My upstairs study, please. Follow me." He turned around and without looking if she would follow him, he walked by her. She, however, didn't follow him immediately. Somewhere inside she was still battling with her conscience, she didn't know if she could lie to him. She hated people who lied. She herself was too outspoken, she always told anybody what she thought. She really felt that at times it was her worst fault. The Reverend Mother however, thought that this was a beautiful gift. She said that's what she appreciated most about Maria, her honesty. Well, she couldn't be honest now, could she?

The Captain was already upstairs and had walked a few feet towards his study when he noticed that Maria wasn't following him. Slightly annoyed he turned around and walked back towards the top of the stairs and looked down at her. He noticed that, by the look on her face, she was deep in thought. She just stood there stock still, staring at the ground, with a tensed, yet sad and confused, expression on her face. It made him feel uneasy and sad that for some reason she was feeling like this, and somehow they had caused all this. Maybe not even them, maybe it was only he who had caused Maria to worry about whatever was bothering her. 

"Fräulein?" She heard a voice call her and Maria jumped a little. She quickly looked up towards where the Captain was standing. How long had she stood here? How long had he stood there, watching her? She composed herself and quickly answered. 

"Uh.. Yes, oh I'm so sorry." Without any other words she climbed the stairs and quickly followed the Captain towards his study room.

Maria realized, as they walked down the hallway past the children's bedrooms, that she had never been to the Captains upstairs study before. Now that she thought about it she didn't even know the Captain had a study, let alone two. It didn't really surprise her though; a house as big as this must bound to have a study or two, maybe even three.  
They now stood in front of a long, but delicate looking, door. Somehow it looked very familiar to her and she realized she had walked past it several times in the three months she had worked here as a governess. Back then she'd briefly wondered what could be behind such a  
different looking door.

The Captain stood in front of the door. It looked to her as if he was in deep thought, as if he was trying to remember something. She was just about to open her mouth and ask him what they were waiting for when he turned around and faced her for a brief second. He was not really looking at her though. A small smile lit his face and then he walked past her towards a large vase that stood across from the door. This so sudden strange behaviour unsettled her for a moment and a little confused she turned around. Instead of asking him why he was standing in front of a plant she decided it was best to let him do whatever he was doing and just follow this strange turn of events. Meanwhile he'd lifted the vase a few centimetres in the air and placed it down again, bent down and picked something small and glimmering up from the floor. He then turned around again so Maria could see what it was, and she saw that he was holding the key that probably opened the door to his study.

By the surprised look on her face he gave a small smile and felt he needed to explain his actions.  
"I'm sorry, I should have told you this before we came here. I always hid this key," he held the small object up "from the children. I know how fond they are of going to places where they aren't supposed to go to. I..." He had to think about the next few words he was about to say.

"After their mother died I hid this key from them. They often sneaked in here, after her death... They knew I'd hid all the family pictures in this study after she died..." His last words were barely audible but Maria was sure she had heard them correctly.

"I see". She replied after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence. 

"Yes, well I probably shouldn't have done that; but back then it seemed like a proper thing to do."

"Yes, I understand," she said, for once not knowing how to respond to his confession. She really did understand why he had hid the pictures from his children. He had wanted to protect their innocence by acting as though their mother had never been a part of their lives. She knew he cared a lot about his children; something she hadn't accepted or understood when she'd first set foot in this house. A lot had changed since then.

The Captain had opened the door to his study and had switched a light on. As Maria entered the room, she could see how big it actually was. It was decorated in the same style as the living room, yet there was a fireplace next to a large oak bureau. Further more the room contained a few chairs, a couch and a large wardrobe that was placed right next to a long small window.

"Have a seat," he said and gestured towards the couch that stood across from the door and next to the oak bureau. She slowly crossed the room and sat down on it. The Captain was still standing and he was now pacing the room.

"What I don't understand," he said as he walked to the open door and closed it "is why I don't believe what you've written in your letter about missing the abbey."

"That's your problem then,... sir," she answered him in a matter of fact kind of voice.

"Yes, I suppose it is; but what if I told you I didn't believe one word of what you've written in that letter? Would it still be my problem then?" This statement angered her.

"Are you calling me a liar, Captain?" she snapped back at him.

"Because if you are calling me a liar, then may I remind you.." She had raised her voice drastically and had stood up. He was sure that anybody who walked by the stairs, all the way at the end of the hallway, could hear every word she'd just yelled at him. 

"Fräulein!" He looked at her warningly and he too had raised his voice.

"Sit down!" She let her mouth hang open in mid air and was about to yell back at him, when another stern look of the Captain made her realize she had gone too far. Closing her mouth again she kept quiet. Feeling stupid and a little embarrassed, but too proud to ever admit this, she looked back at him with the same stern look as he had given her.

"I'm sorry," she said to him, but it didn't really sound that genuine at all. Still, she calmly sat down again. He wasn't surprised by her reaction though. He knew Maria had a stead fast character and wouldn't just admit to someone that she had been wrong, no matter what the circumstances were.

"Apology, accepted," he said while walking up and down the room again.

"No, I'm not calling you a liar." He resumed the confrontation and came to a halt in front of her.

"On the contrary, I think you are the most honest person I've ever met. Sometimes maybe a bit too honest." As he said that last part he looked her straight in the eyes. He could see that her eyes had widened slightly at this last comment and she quickly looked away from him again.

"However it may be I do think that you're hiding something, and I hope you wish to discuss this with me so we can come to some kind of resolution. However, if you do not wish to discuss this matter with me I do have the authority to keep you here until the summer holidays are over."

"Are you blackmailing me Captain?" A bit surprised she turned her head towards the Captain again and they both looked at each other for a brief moment.

"No, I'm not blackmailing you, it's... "

"Well, it most certainly sounded like that," she interrupted him and her voice had risen again.

"Maria… I mean Fräulein," he hurriedly corrected himself.

"You must understand in what kind of position you've put me."

"I understand that perfectly, Captain; and with all do respect what I think and feel is none of your business."

"That might be true, Fräulein; but if you're still going to leave us in the morning then it is my business. Or are those presumptions, according to you, not true?" Sighing she turned her head away from him and massaged the back of her neck in frustration. She really was too tired for this. At any other moment of the day she could have easily won a disagreement with the Captain, or so she thought, but she already was too emotionally worn out because of the events that had happened earlier that evening. She just couldn't take this.

"I'm sorry," he said as he saw her desperation. He softly sat down next to her and he also let out a deep sigh.

"I shouldn't have tried to force the words out of you. It was wrong of me, forgive me."

"Apology accepted," she softly answered him. A long silence fell over them. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence; on the contrary, it was a "deep in thought" kind of silence. When people are just thinking. They sat like that for a while. Both frustrated and tired, both wondering about what the other one was thinking.

"Maria?" The Captain broke the silence.

"I was just wondering..." He fell silent again. Maria looked up at him her eyes once again lost in his.

"Yes?" She spoke barely above a whisper, trying very hard to look away from him but found that this time she really couldn't. Maybe it was the closeness, she thought. Or maybe it was just in the way he had spoken; but somehow she could feel the same twisted feelings she had felt earlier that evening on the dance floor, when they'd also looked so intently in each others eyes.

"I was wondering..." he whispered, loosing his thoughts and eyes completely in her blue ones. What was happening to him? He'd never felt like this before. It was a strange feeling. One he vaguely recognized, but not seemed to remember at the moment. He felt his hand coming up to touch her cheek. He didn't know why, he just felt like it was the right thing to do.

Maria didn't move when his hand made contact with her cheek. All kinds of feelings ran through her body at that moment. She felt scared, confused, she wanted to run away, but she also wanted to stay. She even felt curious, and she cursed herself for feeling like that. It wasn't aloud she kept repeating. She didn't want this; but what if she did want it?


	3. uncomfortable

_**Disclaimer:** I woke up this morning realizing that I still don't own The Sound Of Music.. But than again, what the heck :P I'm queen of the universe, so i'll just make them mine. So here by I claim The Sound Of Music as my own D Hope you can all live with that ? _

_**Authors Note: **First of all, thank you Linda, who made this chapter and the other 2 possible. _

_And I also wanted to thank all of you for your kind and supportive reviews :P I'll reward you with chapter 3. I know it's very short, but i've already started writing on chapter 4, so please forgive me. _

**Chapter 3: uncomfortable**

'No!' was her final thought. She didn't want this... She couldn't want this. She blinked a few times and lost eye contact with him, then she composed herself and moved away from his hand. A bit confused about what had happened she stood up and backed a few feet away from the couch, where she bumped into the desk and quickly found support there.

Feeling that the mood had changed drastically, the Captain had gotten up too but didn't move. He was merely studying Maria's face. Her whole being had changed. Instead of looking like the confident and independent woman he had come to know, she now looked fragile and afraid.

At a loss for words he just stood there. For the second time that night he had felt... He didn't know what he'd felt; but whatever it was, it had to stop. He knew he cared a lot for Maria. She was, after all, his children's governess. And above all things, she was responsible for bringing joy, laughter and music back into his life… Into his children's life... Their life.

So yes, he treasured his friendship with her, it really meant a great deal to him; but to risk all that for some fleeting feeling? That was absurd, not to mention ridiculous.

"Georg, darling?" suddenly came a voice from the hallway just outside the door, pulling the Captain out of his reverie. There was one knock and the door swung open, revealing a bewildered, but still gorgeous looking, Elsa Schräder.

"I was worrying sick, darling. All the guests are..." She stopped mid sentence at the sight in front of her. The smile on her face faded and a feeling of jealousy washed over her. She had only thought to find Georg here, but she now found, as the door had fully revealed the room in front of her, that another person was standing just across the room from him.

Maria froze at the sight of the Baroness, feeling her insides turning cold when the Baroness's eyes got a hold of hers. Panic washed over her and she prayed that her eyes didn't give away too much emotions as the Baroness was closely penetrating hers, almost as though she was reading Maria's every single thought.

"I hope I'm not interrupting," came her, now ice cold, voice again, after finally settling her eyes on Georg. She studied his profile and, while awaiting his reply, she let go of the door and crossed her arms in front of her.

"Not at all, darling," came the confident words of the Captain, as he gave Elsa a small smile. "Fräulein Maria and I were only discussing some urgent business."

Maria jumped a little at the sound of the Captains voice. For a moment she had forgotten that he was still present in the room with her. As she vaguely heard the Baroness asking the Captain why it couldn't have waited until tomorrow, she found that she was loosing herself in deep thought again. Feeling like an intruder to this conversation between the Captain and the Baroness she did nothing except for staring at the carpeted floor in front of her. She felt a shudder running down her spine merely at the thought of what could have happen if the Baroness had ran into the room a minute earlier. Heaven forbid what might have happened then.

Technically nothing really did happen, Maria reminded herself; but surely the Baroness wouldn't look at it in that way.

"Fräulein?" Maria suddenly realized that she was being addressed, and that the Captains and Baroness's eyes were intently fixed upon her.

Mentally pulling herself together she looked up at the Captain, finding that his expression wore a look of worry.

"Yes... I'm sorry," she said. Her throat felt raw and dry, and her voice seemed to carry a tired edge to it. She finally realized how tired she actually was.

Feeling that she could trust her legs not to buckle she pushed herself up from the desk in a standing position.

"I think it would be best if I retired for the night." Looking down again she gracefully crossed the room towards where the Baroness was standing next to the door. She gave Maria a forced smile and quickly stepped away, giving Maria a clear exit from the room.

"Maria!" Halting just before the door she turned halfway around, not failing to notice that the Captain had once again addressed her by her given name.

"Does this mean you'll be staying?" the Captain asked, hope creeping into his voice again. Maria did not dare to look up, instead she turned around and grabbed the doorknob.

"For now," she answered him, hoping that her voice had sounded as emotionless as she'd meant for it to sound. While wishing them goodnight, she gave the Captain and the Baroness a slight nod with her head and then quickly left the room.


	4. A morning with a twist

**Disclaimer: **_Sigh Still don't own them. Enough said. _

**Authors note: **_Once again I want to thank my wonderful reviewers. Your support means a lot to me. I want to thank Linda for making yet another chapter possible. And last but not least, I thank Loes, for supporting me and saying that this story has to be finished. Although I, myself have no idea of how to finish it, all i've got are loose bits and pieces of how I would like the story to end. But till then, here's chapter 4. Enjoy ;) _

**Chapter 4: A morning with a twist **

Maria didn't even bother to turn on the lights when she closed her bedroom door. She walked straight to where her bed was located and sat down on the edge. A deep sigh escaped her body and she leaned forward, resting one arm on her knee. With her other hand she softly touched the spot on her cheek the Captain had caressed and a tingling feeling ran through her body again. The feelings she had when he merely looked at her was something she'd never experienced before. What only his touch could do to her was horrifying and wonderful at the same time. She could loose her whole being in his eyes, and all this frightened her. The Baroness had said she was in love with him; but how could she give in to these feelings? Was it true he felt the same way? The Baroness had said he did; but she'd also said that he would get over it.

"_Men do, you know_." The words echoed in her mind, and a sudden urge to leave came over her again. She quickly reasoned with those feelings, knowing that it was too late to leave now. Even if she did, she couldn't ban thoughts of the children out of her mind. If they'd wake up in the morning and suddenly found that she had left; only the thought of what there faces would look like tore at her heart.

As she let herself fall backwards onto the bed another deep sigh escaped her. She realized that it didn't matter how tired she was, she knew she wouldn't get any sleep tonight. Rolling onto her side she closed her eyes. As the minutes, maybe even hours, passed by, she heard cars pulling up and leaving the house. She heard the gates close after what she thought were the last guests leaving. What she didn't hear was her bedroom door softly being opened by a tall shadowy figure. She didn't feel how that same tall figure looked at her and reached out his hand to push a lost lock of soft blond hair behind her ear; and finally she didn't hear this person leave as the door softly closed behind him. No, Maria hadn't heard or felt any of those things, because by then she had fallen fast asleep.

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"GIVE IT BACK, NOW!"

With a startle Maria awoke, and she immediately sat up in her bed. An uncomfortable feeling washed over her as she realized she was still wearing the dress she had been wearing the night before. She touched her hand with her forehead in confusion as she tried to remember what had awoken her.

"NO, IT'S MINE!"

"THAT IS SO NOT TRUE. IT WAS LYING ON MY DESK!"

Maria smiled inwardly at the sound of Louisa's and Brigitta's voices fighting over what she knew she would soon find out.

As if on que Maria's bedroom door swung open, revealing a furious looking Brigitta, closely followed by her mirrored furious looking sister, Louisa. The two girls pushed their way through the door at the exact same time, which caused them to tumble over and they both fell to the ground. This however did not stop them from fighting. As they were each pulling at an unknown object, they continued to yell at each other as if Maria wasn't there.

Quite amused at the sight in front of her, Maria quickly got up from her bed and tried to part the fighting girls. This proved to be rather difficult since none of them wanted to give up the object they were still firmly pulling at.

"Girls!" Maria said angrily as she gave up on separating them and got up from the floor, now hovering above Louisa and Brigitta with an angry look on her face.

Both girls simultaneously looked up, surprised at the sight of their Fräulein and their surroundings.

Taking advantages of their sudden distraction, Maria quickly snatched the object, that was now loosely hanging in there hands, away from them.

"You were fighting over this?" she said in disbelieve, while holding back a sudden urge to laugh as she held up what seemed to be a very pink hair ribbon.

"You two ought to be ashamed, fighting over such an unimportant object." A small smile was playing on her lips, and by that the two girls knew she wasn't angry with them.

"She stole it from me," Brigitta began, pointing an accusative finger at Louisa.

"I did no such thing," Louisa shot back angrily, while turning to her Fräulein.

"Really Fräulein Maria, it's mine. It was even lying on my desk, I swear." Her eyes pleaded with Maria's, but her Fräulein didn't seem to be affected by this.

"You know." Maria began, while playfully putting the ribbon into her dress pocket. "I think I might hold on to this nice ribbon for a while, until you two have figured out how to really handle your disagreements. Now come on, get ready for breakfast like your brothers and sisters."

Disappointed that neither of them would get the ribbon, the two sisters got up from the floor and walked back to the door. As Louisa had already left the room Brigitta suddenly stopped in her tracks and turned around again. Maria looked expectantly up at the girl.

"What is it, Brigitta?"

"Well, what are you wearing that dress for? I mean, you're not going to wear THAT to breakfast, are you?" Somehow Maria wasn't surprised by Brigitta's question. Brigitta always was the first one who noticed everything that happened around her. She studied Maria's grey dress from head to toe, almost as though she was trying to decide if the dress had a positive side to it; but when she saw the look of horror crossing the younger girl's face Maria realized that she hadn't found one.

"No Brigitta, I'm not going to wear this dress to breakfast," she said while giving her a small smile.

"Then why are you wearing it, Fräulein?" The look of horror had been replaced by a look of confusion and understanding suddenly dawned on Brigitta.

"It almost looks as though you've slept in it," she stated suspiciously.

"Don't be ridiculous," Maria spat out nervously. The girl's suspicious eyes, if it was possible, grew even more suspicious, and Maria found that she didn't like to be interrogated by a ten year old. Deciding that she had to put a stop to this conversation she turned serious.

"Now Brigitta, please go and change, before we will both be late for breakfast." She walked a few steps closer to Brigitta, petting her on the back and encouraging her to leave the room.

Determent to find out the answer, Brigitta at first refused to leave, but as she saw the stern look on her Fräulein's face she gave up and calmly left, giving Maria one last suspicious look as she closed the door behind her.

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After Brigitta had left her bedroom Maria quickly pulled a dress from her closet, not caring about which one she grabbed. Anything was better than the grey thing she was wearing now, and as she was hastily putting it on she realized she had unconsciously grasped the dress she had fallen into the lake with a few months ago. A sudden memory filled her mind.

_"I don't wish you to discuss my children in this manner."_

_"Well, you've got to hear from someone; you're never home long enough _

_to know them."_

_"I said I don't want to hear any more from you about my children."_

_"I know you don't! But you've got to!"_

She had been so angry with him that day. She had said all those hard and cruel things to him, that she felt he had deserved to hear at that time. When he was like that he reminded her so much of her uncle. A shiver ran down her spin at the thought. No, he wasn't at all like her uncle. She knew that to be true now. It had only been an invisible shield that had kept him from his children all these years. And their singing on that fateful day had made him realize how much time he had already lost.

She suddenly realized she had been staring at her own reflection in the bathroom mirror for quite sometime now. Blinking a few times she focused on her reflection again and resumed brushing her hair. She dreaded the fact that she really had to go downstairs in a few moments. She didn't know if she could face him again. At that thought a now familiar feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. Fighting it, she closed the bathroom door behind her and let out a deep sigh before exiting her own bedroom.

"You're late," Kurt stated as Maria entered the dinning room.

"Yes, I'm sorry. I had to…"

"She had to change out of that ugly grey dress she was wearing this morning," Brigitta calmly interrupted as she innocently put the glass she had been drinking from back on the table.

"Didn't you, Fräulein?" A wicked smile crossed her face as she met Maria's eyes.

"That's quite enough, Brigitta," came the stern voice of her father, as he looked warningly at his daughter.

Six pairs of confused eyes looked from Brigitta to their father, as none of them understood what Brigitta was referring to.

Maria briefly met the Captains eyes as she sat down, and he gave her a small smile. Her stomach twisted when their eyes lingered a bit too long, and she quickly looked down at her empty plate, not feeling the slightest bit hungry.

This little sign of affection didn't go unnoticed by Liesl, who by now had noticed a sudden change of behaviour in her Fräulein's and father's attitude.

No, it probably was only her imagination, she persuaded herself. She was just seeing things that weren't there. After all, her father and Fräulein had become really close friends over these past few months, and friends were all they were. Taking a sip of her orange juice she quickly shacked the thoughts from her mind.

The remainder of breakfast passed mostly in silence. Here and there a few comments were made and questions were asked, all referring to the party, and the Captain seemed happy to answer them all.

Maria was relieved when she found out that Herr Detweiler and the Baroness wouldn't join them for breakfast this morning. The Captain had explained to them that they were very exhausted from the party and that they had wished to remain in bed, as they ate their breakfast. She'd relaxed a bit when this piece of information had settled in. She now didn't have to endure the suspicious looks of the Baroness or the surprised questions of Herr Detweiler. She was sure he would ask her why she hadn't been his dinner guests at the party.

"Children, uncle Max is taking you into town this afternoon," the Captain announced, while folding his newspaper and placing it next to him on the table.

"Why is he taking us into town, father?" came little Gretl's voice, while she was frowning deeply, not understanding why Uncle Max would take them into town when they had a Fräulein who could do that with them.

"Is Fräulein Maria coming with us?" came Martha's voice, asking Gretl's unspoken question.

The Captain smiled at his two youngest children. "No, I'm afraid she's not Martha. I think your Fräulein deserves a day off, and we both need to settle some matters concerning all of you."

Maria had been afraid that this would happen. She had sensed that their conversation from the night before hadn't been properly ended, and that he still wanted to know if she wished to leave or stay. She decided that it was best to keep still, and let the children ask there questions while she finished her meal.

"Matters concerning us?" Friedrich asked, looking from his father to his Fräulein. Maria met his confused eyes and smiled reassuringly at the boy.

"Yes, just some small matters that need to be settled. You really needn't worry about that," the Captain finished, his children all looked at him in suspicious disbelieve.

"You know father," came Liesl's voice, as she stood up to leave the dining room. She had already finished her breakfast.

"You're really not that good at lying," she said, as she rounded the corner and vanished out of sight.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the six remaining children and the two adults, and not another word was said as each of them quietly finished their breakfast.


	5. Doing What's Best For The Children

_**Disclaimer:** Nope Sigh still don't own them, really wish I did.. But I don't. I'm just playing around with them and make them do whatever I please. All because of my messed up imagination and my freaky fantasies of what it would be like if the movie went like my story._

_**A/N:** I'm so srry this chapter took me foreeeeever to update, I hope you haven't lost hope, yet. These past few months have been very hectic for me and they still are. I'm even surprised I updated this story today because I really didn't think I would when I woke up this morning. So, yeah I'm surprised I did this too._

_I do appreciate all the reviews and the tips even the negative comments. It helps me to learn from my mistakes as a writer… If you could call me a writer, though :P xD. For this chapter I want to thank Bar for her whining about finally updating this story, and I want to thank Loesie for her fate and sweet comments. Further more I'll have to warn you, this chapter has not been checked by a Beta. So, there probably are some miner grammar and spell issues somewhere hidden in this chapter. But don't let that stop you from reading it. _**_Jacq_**

**Chapter 5: Doing what's best for the children.**

As all the chattering and noise died away as soon as the front door was violently closed behind the seven siblings and their uncle Max, it was as though a gentle breeze of silence travelled through the house. At this moment the villa held no sign at all that seven healthy, cheerful children were living in it. And without their presence the house held a frighten silence.

Maria stood in the entrance hall, looking at the now closed door, as she feared what was about to come. The Captain asked her to come to his downstairs study as soon as she said goodbye to the children. When she hugged them and wished them a save and glorious day, Maria had had to do everything in her power to keep her cheerful composure as cheerful as always. Normally she had no troubles in doing so, the children had a certain refreshing spirit over them that when she was around them would keep her from feeling anything but worried or lost.

But this time even the children's excitement about going into town hadn't been able to distract her travelling mind.

Never in her whole life had she felt so trapped, as she did now. Not even on her Uncle's farm, or the thoughts of living a secluded life at the abbey when she would take her vows.

The feelings of uncertainty and even certainty she felt every time she was thrown into oblivion, were not new to her. She had lived a terrifying childhood at her uncle's house. Where everyday she would wake up and wonder if this day, could be the day that her prince charming would come, sweep her of her feet and would take her far away from her uncle and her horrible life. But as she grew older she some how convinced herself that there probably was no such thing as a prince charming, or love for that matter. So, she'd all together given up on the whole concept of ever getting married or having children.

Maria pulled herself together, as she realized she'd been staring at the marbled floor. She gracefully left the entrance hall and made her way to the Captains study. Contrary to his up stairs study, the Captain informed her how to find his downstairs study, and as she hastily pasted the library she deliberately slowed down, trying to extend the journey for as long as possible.

Finally, when Maria reached the door she hesitantly gave it a soft knock, when she heard no reply she gave a somewhat firmer knock, making sure that this time it was loud enough for the person on the other side to hear.

"It's open."

Came the loud voice of the Captain from behind the door. Maria grasped the knob and opened it.

"You wished to speak to me, Captain?"

She said as confident as she could manage while entering the room and closing the door behind her. She remained where she was as she looked up at the Captain who was seated behind his desks, which was covered with papers, books and notes, and by the looks of it, he had been studying them before she arrived.

"Yes, please, do come in"

He said, as he smiled at her, making sure his hospitality sounded sincere. Maria took a few hesitant steps forward, unsure about what was to come and unsure if she could defend herself if he would ask her the same disturbing questions as he had yesterday.

The Captain stood up from behind his desk motioning his hand towards the couch.

"Please, sit Fräulein."

Again he gave Maria a warm smile, in hopes it would ease the mood somewhat. Unfortunately this form of affection unsettled Maria greatly. She nervously crossed the room and sat down on the couch. Hoping that she didn't look as transparent as she felt.

"I hope the children will have a fine day with their uncle, it's been a long time since Max took them out." He began, settling himself into a chair opposite of her.

"Yes, they seemed very excited about it." She retorted relieved about the small talk he was initiating.

"They would really hate to see you leave, you know?"

"I know."

She sighed, feeling that this conversation was heading into a whole other direction. She should have known he would use the children as an excuse. She adored each and every one of them. They all had their own individual personality. They were so much a like and yet very different from each other. At times when she looked at them play, sleep or even fight, she almost regretted the fact that she would never have children of her own.

"Then why, Fräulein? I know it couldn't have been them who made you want to leave last night."

His eyes searched Maria's in hopes that he would find some glimmer of a growing confession. But when he looked at her he could only see her building frustration as she tried to push back the reasons about why she had wanted to leave.

Georg had seen how close she had got to his children these past couple of months. And to be honest it still amazed him how easily she'd won them over. He had been a bit surprised when he learned she was still there, in his house, after he had gotten back from Vienna with Elsa. After all his children's resistance and after all their futile attempts at getting his attention by playing tricks on the other governesses, they instead of playing tricks on her had grown to accept her. And even Georg too, in time had come to accept and admire her. He didn't know when she suddenly turned into a friend instead of his children's governess, but then again it didn't surprise him. His conversations with Maria about his children were always much more personal than the conversation he had had with their previous governesses.

He wasn't blind and since he'd had time to ponder her sudden distance towards him last night, he had come to the conclusion that he was the reason for the state she was in right now. If his suspicions were right, Georg suspected that it had something to do with the abrupt ending to their dance at the party. Then and there he felt that there was more to Maria than was showed beneath the service. Part of him was curious about this side of Maria. The side that wasn't made for the abbey, the side she was trying to push away at any given moment. But he quickly cast those thoughts away, knowing that they weren't appropriate. He was her employer and she was his employee, end of story.

"Why did you leave?"

"I'd rather really not wish to discuss it, Captain." Maria answered him after a few moments of deafening silence.

He held her gaze for a while, searching her eyes, waiting for a more elaborate explanation, but when there came none, he let out a sigh, stood up and walked back towards his desk.

"So, that's it then?"

He said turning around just before he sat down on his desk chair.

"You're going to pack your bags and you're going to leave the children, me, this house without any explanation as to why you're actually leaving? Excuse me for what I'm about to say, but don't you think that's a bit selfish?"

A soft silence fell over the room as the words hit her hard.

"I don't know!"

She exclaimed in deep frustration, standing up, she turned around and looked out the window into the flowery garden.

"I don't even know if I still want to leave. It's not the children. You're right about that. I... it's just..."

She trailed off, looking down at her hands. She felt like she had gone to far, that she had given away too much Information.

"It's just, what, Maria?"

He was watching her with great interest and felt they were getting closer to the real problem at hand. But as she turned towards him and hastily looked down at her hands he caught a glimpse of her frustration and he could have sworn that her eyes were shimmering with unset tears.

A sympathetic feeling washed over him. Whatever was bothering her he could see that it tore at her, and if she'd rather not want to talk about it he should accept that.

"Fräulein?"

"Yes?"

She spoke softly while still looking at her fingers, trying with all her might not to show the weakness that was threatening to reveal itself.

"You may go."

Confused she looked up forgetting about her red shot eyes and caught his gaze.

"What?"

Was all she could manage a bit taken aback as she saw his determination looking back at her.

"You heard me, Fräulein. I won't force you. You may leave as you wish"

He nodded towards the door as if saying that it was alright for her to leave without going against his wishes. Not that she cared much about his wishes; he thought as he saw how she hesitantly grasped the door knob before pushing it down.

She stood still for a few moments pondering the fact whether she should leave without saying something. She felt a bit guilty and it felt highly inappropriate to leave like this.

"Captain?"

"Yes, Fräulein?"

He said, questionably looking up at her.

She looked at him, at a lose for words. She had no idea what to say to him, that would help ease the guilt she felt gnawing on her conscience.

She let go of the knob and stepped back into the room. Subconsciously playing with her fingers as she carefully tried to shape words in her mind that could express what she most desperately wanted to say.

"You know, it's funny"

She began as her eyes turned distant, a small smile crossed her face but her expression remained blank and emotionless.

"A few days ago I felt that by becoming a nun I would be able to help this world and serve God. I knew exactly what he wanted from me, I knew why he had send me here to you, Captain and your family. And I felt I was doing the right thing."

She stopped, letting the unfinished words linger in the tense air.

All the while he had not looked away from her. Although she'd spoken in riddles he knew it had taken all of her will power to say what she'd just said, and he hesitated before deciding he had to ask the words that were lying heavily on his mind.

"What changed?"

"I wish I knew."

She sighed, looking outside the window for a second time.

A silence fell over them. The Captain stood up from his chair and leaned against the far corner of his desk crossing his arms in front of him and quietly finding himself lost in thought. Analyzing and re-thinking every word she'd said, making sure he understood the meaning behind all of them.

"I will stay until September."

Maria suddenly spoke, making the Captain look up seeing that she Had turned around and was now looking at him with the same determent expression on her face he'd showed her mere minutes ago.

"If only for the children. You're right; it would break their hearts if I left like this."

She stepped back to the door and before she opened it and exited the room, she could hear his voice saying a hesitant "thank you" She turned around one last time not fully looking him in the eye, giving him a weak smile and closed the door behind her. Slowly making her way back to her room.

-----------------------------

He sighed deeply before turning back to his desk. He thought he would feel better, more satisfied now that he'd convinced her to stay. He wasn't even sure if he was the one that had convinced her. After all, she'd made the decision all by herself. But maybe his influence had helped a bit. Or at least he hoped it had.

He rummaged through the papers on his desk, not precisely knowing what he was looking for, just trying to still his thoughts. He was tired of thinking, analyzing and re-thinking every step he'd taken and was about to take.

He felt at a lose for what to do. Oh, very deep down he had an idea of what it could be. It seemed so familiar. Yet, it was so easy to just push away, ignore it. For the time being he felt he could do just that. Ignore something he wasn't quite sure of how to handle.

More pressing matters were his top priority at the moment. Austria was slipping through his fingers. And he wanted to spend as much time with his children in the country; he used to call his home, until it had completely slipped away from his grip.

He slipped a hand in his pocket and drew out a tiny black box.

He'd made a promise to Elsa, and he intended to keep that promise.

Yesterday after his mystifying talk with Maria, he'd proposed to her. It hadn't gone according to plan, nor could he call it a real proposal on one knee. It had gone so fast, and Elsa agreed to it.

In his mind he knew he had asked her to marry him because of the confusion he felt. He'd wanted to take control of that confusion; he still wanted to take control. But it all seemed everything was getting even more confusing, the moment he'd proposed to the woman he was suppose to love.

He was staring at the black box in his hand, and after what seemed like an eternity opened the petite little box and looked with remorse at the shimmering ring he'd picked out weeks ago. Back then he knew that he would ask Elsa to marry him. He was sure he loved her, she was the one that made him hole again. But was she? Was she really?

With another sigh he closed the box and put it back in his pocket where it belonged,…for now. He should give it to Elsa after dinner, after their announcement.

_-------------------------------------------_

_"I will stay until September."_

The moment she'd said those words she knew she would regret them later. She loved the children, no doubt about that. But she wasn't allowed to let herself give into the feelings she secretly hid deep down inside. How much she tried to deny it, the more confused she got. Staying wouldn't help her straighten out her feelings. Hiding them would be even more difficult if she was forced to see and talk to him everyday.

But common sense did not win the internal battle that was going on, inside Maria's head.  
Or had it been common sense that won? Was it not better for Maria to stay and take care of the children? To ignore the feelings she felt? Wasn't that what people called;"common sense?" Or was she just a fool, who tried to suppress the way her body and mind reacted? All these question to which she had no answers.

She slowly stood up from her bed and walk over to the closet between her bed and nightstand. She still hadn't unpacked the few belongings she possessed and figured she might as well do it now, since she wasn't going anywhere until September. She grabbed the carpet bag from under her bed and slowly began unpacking it.

It was late, nearly dinner time, she couldn't believe she'd spend the whole afternoon in her room. She hadn't notice time fly by so quickly. She could hear the doorbell ring. Sounds of echo's travelled all the way up to her room and she heard footsteps, enthusiastic voices and laughter. The door slammed in its lock and at this, Franz's roaring voice was heard above the noises the children made. Demanding that they'd be quiet or at least tried to calm down.

Maria knew Franz never liked things messy. He was a tidy and cynical man, who wanted everything to be perfect. She didn't think he was all too happy with the sudden freedom these children had gained by getting their father back. But then again, Maria never really liked Franz anyway.

-----------------------------

Elsa sighed.

Checking her hair in the mirror one last time before going downstairs for tonight's dinner.  
She smiled at the reflection in front of her, applying a little bit mascara here and some eyeliner there. She knew she was a lucky woman. Wealthy, beautiful, smart enough to know the ins and outs of fashion. She could price herself lucky.

Her smile faded. She turned around and headed for the door. She stopped, looked over her shoulder for a last glimpse in the mirror and closed the door lady like behind her.

Ever since she arrived she had experienced a whole other side of Georg. As she'd already mentioned to him; she found he was more relaxed and calm. Further more she came to the discovery that he was a father. Sure, she had known he was the father of seven. But before she ever met the children she never knew that being a father made a person different. She now had come to know another Georg than the familiar one who always came to spend time with her in Vienna.

And then there was also the case of Maria. The nun who obviously had fallen in love with Georg. Competition was the last thing Elsa had expected when she agreed to Georg's offer about meeting his children. At least not from a nun. To Elsa it sounded ridicules, preposterous. But unfortunately she had to Admit, no matter how much she tried to convince herself that her overactive imagination was seeing things that weren't there, that Georg was attracted to this nun, in love even.

She wasn't proud of what she had done to Maria the other night. But she panicked when she saw them dancing. To her it was obvious. But to them, she supposed, it was still a big blur.

"Good evening darling." Elsa had entered the dinning room.  
She laid a hand on Georg's shoulder and smiled softly at him as she took the seat beside him. Then she looked around the table noticing the children, Max and not really to her surprise, Fräulein Maria.

"Good evening children, Max,… Fräulein."

"Good evening, Baroness Schräder."

The children said, not too earnestly.

Signs of a forced smile on her face were obviously there. But Elsa was very well educated in dealing with situations like this. And only a real pro would be able to notice how uncomfortable she really felt. Of course,…Max noticed.

"Had a nice afternoon, Elsa?"

Georg started as the rest of the family resumed their dinner after having said their prayers.

"As a matter of fact, yes I did."

When there came no elaborate explanation, Georg looked up at Elsa. But she'd already turned her attention back to the plate in front of her.

"Well, what exactly have you been doing this afternoon?"

Max's voice suddenly cut in. Having followed the ridiculous little scene between Georg and Elsa. His always nosy personality got the better of him and he was wondering why all of a sudden Georg's and Elsa's behaviour towards each other struck him as odd.

"Oh, nothing much, darling. Just some shopping around town."

She smiled knowingly at Georg and tenderly covered his hand with hers.

"Georg, don't you think we should…"

"Yes, yes of course."

He smiled at her and took her hand in his as they both stood up and pushed their chairs aside.

"Children, I have an announcement to make." Georg began.

At that precise moment it hit Max. He suddenly knew why his two friends were acting highly peculiar this evening. But Max was not the only person at the table who had come to the same conclusion. Although the younger children were all oblivious to what was happening around them, Maria and even Liesl could see what was happening, or better said, what was going to happen.

"I think it's suffice to say, that you're going to have a new mother. The Baroness and I are engaged."

He smiled at the people in front of him and gave Elsa's hand a tiny squish before letting go. Somehow he didn't feel at all relieved by the information he'd just given his children. A constricted feeling settled in his chest and he couldn't help but feel trapped at the sound of his own words.

A silence fell over the table except for Max's enthusiastic outburst.

"Why Georg, you should have told me. I thought you considered me a friend. Why didn't I know about this sooner? When have you proposed to her?"

Max questions filled the silent room, but he didn't look at all offended by the lack of information Georg had given his friend. On the contrary, he looked quite pleased with himself and this news hadn't come as a real surprise to him. Even before his questions were answered he hurriedly left the room without excusing himself, muttering something about collecting the money he had won with a bet, that no doubt had something to do with Georg's and Elsa's engagement.

"Congratulations father."

Were Liesl's first words. The first who tried to break the silence that had caused the room to shift from a comfortable pleasant atmosphere to one that felt cold and unfamiliar. She didn't blame her siblings for feeling this way. But she also wanted to show her father that she would support any decision he might take in their best interest. Although she wasn't quite sure if this was in anyone's best interest, she would, no matter what, support him. Because she loved him.

"You too Baroness, I wish you two the best of luck."

She walked over to where they both stood, shook her fathers hand and kissed her, soon to be mother, softly on the cheek.

After Liesl the rest of the family followed. But the icy atmosphere was still heavily present as the Baroness kneeled down to let Gretl kiss her cheek.

All the while Maria hadn't dared to look up from her plate. Gruesome feelings ran through her body. This time she didn't have difficulties remembering what kind of feelings she felt. She recognized them all to well. It frightened her. As the sadness in her heart took over, she forced herself not to let the children see the sorrow that was clearly present in every fibber of her body.

Forcing herself to keep those emotions locked away behind years of well constructed walls. She stood up.

"Yes, congratulations Captain, you too Baroness. I hope you become very happy indeed."

She softly took the outstretched hand of the Captain, shook it, and noticed how long it lingered before he let go of her.

"Thank you dear." Came the sugar sweet voice of the Baroness as Maria too, accepted her outstretched hand and quickly shook it.

The remainder of dinner was mostly spend in silence. Each person at the table was lost in their own thoughts. Except for Gretl and Marta who softly started conversing, in fear that if they spoke out loud they might get reprimanded.

Maria cautiously pushed her food around on the porcelain plate in front of her. Having lost all of her apatite the moment the Captain had made his engagement to the Baroness known. She should feel happy, relieved even. She now knew for sure he wasn't in love with her. There was no reason for her to leave the family now, or be concerned about his feelings for her. There were no feelings for her. But she didn't feel relieved at all, in fact, she felt quite the contrary.

"Father, may I be excused?"

Maria looked up at the child who'd spoken.

"Don't you want your desert, Brigitta?" Her father asked while swallowing down the remainders of his own dinner.

"I'm a bit nauseous, I think I'd like to go to bed early tonight and read some." The girl said, hopefully looking up at her father, awaiting his approval.

"Of course you may, sweetheart." He gave his daughter a little smile and nodded.

As soon as Brigitta had left the dinning room, desert arrived. Although it looked delicious, Maria still found herself unable to eat the sweet ice cream that lay in front of her.

As dinner slowly drew to an end, most of the other children excused themselves too, having hardly touched their desert either. Probably having as much apatite as Maria.

When only Gretl and Marta remained, Maria decided that it was high time for them to get some sleep too. It seldom happened that the older children went to bed before Gretl and Marta did. And this fact didn't go unnoticed by all three of the adults still sitting at the table.

"Captain, I think it's time for the little ones to go to bed now, if you don't mind. They've got a very eventful day planned tomorrow."

"Of course."

The Captain nodded. Maria stood up, scooped a sleepy Gretl up in her arms and took Marta's tiny hand in hers. Allowing the little girl to lead her out of the dinning room.

"Goodnight, Captain, Baroness." Maria wished them

"Goodnight Fräulein." Was the Captains reply as he kissed Marta goodnight.

"Sweet dreams, sweetheart." He softly stroked Marta's dark hair. Giving the little girl a wink before disappearing behind the corner on her way to bed, he let his eyes rest on Maria one last time, and before silence returned back to the dinning room he heard Marta's child like voice talk to Maria about something nasty Kurt had done today.

A weak smile crossed his lips and he settled his eyes back on Elsa.

"They'll get used to the idea soon, Georg" She said, putting a comforting hand on his arm.

"Yes, I do hope so"


	6. The Spark

_**Disclaimer: **Blablabla, they're not mine. Yadaayadaayadaa. You know the drill. _

_**Rating:** Still PG I guess. I mean if you don't agree with me, fine.. But I think it's PG. The end. _

_**A/N: **Yeah, yeah, yeah I know what you think. You thought I wouldn't update this story anymore. You thought I died or something. You'd already given up hope. So I apologize. I hope you real TSOM freaks out there haven't given up on this story yet, the biggest one hasn't. Or have you Bar? No you haven't. Well I'm glad I at least have one reader left._

_I won't hold you up any longer. Just one last word of wisdom: Enjoy! Oh and R&R is always appreciated. _

**Chapter 6: The Spark **

After dinner five of the Von Trapp children had gathered in the bedroom of Liesl, Louisa and Brigitta.

Louisa, who always had been reluctant about allowing the boys into their bedroom, had agreed to it only for this one time. As Brigitta always said: "Certain necessities require rule breaking."

Although Louisa often disagreed with Brigitta on subjects of necessity, this time however she had to fully agree with her younger sisters statement, because what they were about to discuss was indeed of utmost importance.

"I say, we treat the Baroness just like we treated all the other governess's." Friedrich exclaimed. Quite pleased with the idea of torturing this woman until she ran screaming out the door, with the promise of never wanting to see the horrible monsters who'd put oil in her mascara and glue on her toothbrush.

"Yeah, that's really going to work." Brigitta called sarcastically from behind the book she was reading in her bed. She closed it, put it down on the nightstand beside her and turned her full attention towards the people in the room.

"Do you seriously think father is going to thank us, if we do such a thing? He's going to marry this woman. This isn't just an employee he's hired to take care of us. He actually lóóves the Baroness."

"Or so he wants us to believe."

All heads turned to Liesl, who stood by the window looking out into the garden with her arms crossed in front of her.

"What is that suppose to mean?" Kurt asked his eldest sister, wanting to know what Liesl was getting at.

"I'm only saying that, to me, they don't look like a couple who are deeply in love with each other."

"What do you know about being in love?" Louisa countered her sister.

At this, Liesl turned around and softly sat down on her bed.

"I know they aren't."

"Oh, and on what grounds do you base that fact, miss know it all?" Brigitta teased her sister, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth as she saw Liesl's expression change.

"Well, for one, there's no real spark between them"

"A… spark?" Brigitta arched an eyebrow as the words rolled of her tong and she let her voice linger on "spark".

"Really Liesl, you've got to be kidding me."

Suddenly a knock was heard, all heads turned in dismay towards the door, Friedrich and Kurt hastily got up from the floor, but before they could hide away from the person who was about to enter the girls bedroom, it opened, revealing Fräulein Maria.

Not really surprised at the scene in front of her she put her hands on her hips and looked at the children with slightly arched eyebrows, a questioning expression was written all over her face as she saw the shocked faces of the children look back at her. As if she just caught them conversing about some highly classified secret.

"I'm not even going to ask." Maria sighed and let her hands drop to her side, never being able to stay mad at these children for long.

"If you go to your beds right now, I won't tell your father about this."

Friedrich and Kurt quickly left the room with apologizing looks on their faces.

"I'll check on you two later!" She called after them, shaking her head before closing the door behind her. She knew exactly what they'd been talking about. And frankly she couldn't blame them. The thought still hadn't left her mind either, and she doubted it would ever truly go away.

"Fräulein, you've got to talk to father about this."

"About what, Louisa?"

"You know what I mean. I saw your face at the dinner table. You're as much opposed to this as we are."

"Louisa, shut up." Liesl hissed. Making the girl annoyingly look around to her eldest sister who was already lying in bed.

"Why should I ? You saw her reaction when father announced the news."

"That's quite enough, Louisa. First of all I am undoubtedly very happy for your father and the Baroness. I've heard your father wanted to propose to her for some while now, and I will not talk to him about who he should or shouldn't be marrying." Maria swallowed hard, but could still feel the lump that had formed in her throat after the words of reason she'd spoke to Louisa didn't even sound convincing to her own ears.

"According to Liesl they aren't even in love." Brigitta spoke softly, having opened her book again, she carefully looked over the edge of it, at her Fräulein, observing her reaction.

Maria had turned towards Liesl, curiously looking up at the girl. But even before Liesl could answer her Fräuleins unasked question, Brigitta did it for her.

"Yes, she reckons that the "spark" is missing……Whatever that means." Brigitta rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to her book.

"Oh, I see."

"You believe in the "spark"?" Louisa asked her Fräulein in disbelieve. By now having switched off her night lamp and also crawled into her own bed.

"Yes, I believe I do."

"You do?" Liesl asked hopeful.

"Yes, I believe there must be some connection that makes two people fall in love. Whether it's a spark, a look or just a feeling, I don't know. But I do believe there's something, Louisa. So, yes, I think Liesl's right."

Liesl smiled at her Fräulein, grateful that for once she didn't have to prove her sisters wrong.

"And now I want all of you to get a good nights rest, while I check on the boys. Trust me girls, you'll eventually get used to the idea."

One by one she kissed all three girls on the forehead and wished them goodnight as she tucked them in.

Then she walked back to the door and switched off the light, but before she closed the door behind her, she heard Liesl ask her one last question.

"Have you ever been in love, Fräulein?" Not knowing how to answer this she remained silent for a while. But eventually she settled for a twisted kind of truth, not precisely knowing whether it was a lie or a real fact.

"I don't know, Liesl, I really don't know."

Before Liesl could reply to that, her Fräulein had already closed the door behind her, leaving Liesl with answers to questions she'd asked herself repeatedly over the past few days.

"What do you think, that could've meant?" Brigitta's voice whispered.

"I think it means there is a spark in this house. But not between our father and the Baroness."

"What do you mean?" Louisa asked as it still hadn't dawned on to her, what her sister exactly meant.

Brigitta on the other hand had quickly recognized meaning behind the words Liesl claimed to be true.

"No way!" She practically yelled as she sat up in bed. "You're not saying what I think you're saying. Liesl, that can't be true, and even if it were true, they don't want it to be true. I admit father and Fräulein Maria are….."

"What?!" Louisa's voice came, interrupting Brigitta's rant, finally having put two and two together.

"Our Fräulein and father? Liesl, you're nuts." Louisa exclaimed saying it as though it had taken years to figure out Liesl wasn't mentally reliable.

"Oh, please Louisa, don't tell me you've been living under a rock these past few days. There have been plenty of signs. For instance, their dance at the ball? Does that ring a bell somewhere?" Liesl said sarcastically yet feeling enthralled at the same time, as she'd finally solved the puzzle.

"Or when father sang Edelweiss a few weeks before the ball." Brigitta chimed in.

"Okay, correction, you two are both mental." Louisa shook her head, in disbelieve. Not wanting to accept their stupid way of thinking. She then turned her back to her sisters and closed her eyes. She didn't want to listen to any more of their ridiculous ideas.

* * *

"You wanted to talk to me, Captain?"

"Yes, please come in Frau Schmidt."

Frau Schmidt closed the study door behind her and turned to face her superior. Her boss looked tired tonight. More than usual, she observed.

"What is it you wanted to talk to me about, Captain?"

"It's the wedding invitations. The Baroness insisted you'd check this list." He rummaged through the papers on his desk and pulled out a large piece of paper.

"Yes, Captain." She said and hastily looked at the long list. Long was an understatement she concluded. The list was huge. Even more people were invited to the wedding than there had been to the party last month. She stopped when she recognized a few names. She was acquainted with quite a number of guests. Not personally of course, but she recognized most names and the faces that belonged to them.

"Was that all, Captain?" She asked while neatly folding the paper.

"Yes, Frau Schmidt, that's all."

She turned around but then hesitated as she shot another glance at the Captain, who by then had turned his attention back to the papers on his desk. The tired look still eminent on his face.

"Captain?" Frau Schmidt dared.

"Yes, Frau Schmidt?" The Captain looked up a bit surprised that the woman still stood there. Mostly Frau Schmidt never wasted time when there was work at hand.

"Well, I hope you don't mind me asking, sir. But you look a bit tired. Is there something I can get you?"

The Captain remained silent for a few seconds, pondering Frau Schmidt's offer. It was not like he didn't appreciate her concern for him. But it actually hadn't really dawned on to him,

he indeed didn't feel all that well. Physically he felt fine, tired maybe but that never before had prevented him from going about his everyday business.

"No. But I appreciate the offer, Frau Schmidt. And I guess I'm indeed a bit tired. I might turn in early tonight.

"Of course, Captain." Frau Schmidt nodded her head and turned her attention back to the door and this time indeed intended to leave. If the Captain felt out of sorts for whatever reason it wasn't her business. Although she'd worked for the man for nearly eighteen years she still found that when it came down to someone else's business you should just look away and stick to your own.

"Frau Schmidt?" Taken a back Frau Schmidt looked at the Captain again and closed the half opened door she'd been holding.

"Yes, Captain?"

"Do you think I made a wise decision?"

"About the guests, Sir?" She asked confused. Not quite knowing what her boss was trying to say.

"Yes, of course!... The guests!" He agreed nodding his head almost feverously. A small smile crossed his face as he looked up to her but she noted that his voice trailed and his eyes turned distant yet again.

He was acting strange today, she thought. Maybe he was getting the flu. She made a mental note to inform the maids to keep a closer look. Maybe she could convince him to drink some herbal tea. That might help.

"Yes, Captain. I think you made a wise decision. All your friends and the Baroness' seem to have been invited." She scarcely looked through the list again.

"Yes, well. That'll be all, Frau Schmidt." He said. Already sounding more like his old self again as he waved absentmindedly to the door indicating she should really leave now.

"Yes, Captain."

Without further ado the housekeeper left her superiors study room. She briefly wondered what could be the cause of his distracted mind. But she quickly cast those thoughts aside, remembering her motto. "Do not interfere with someone else's business."

She looked at the list again. Sighing she thought of all the invitations she had to write.

"_Well, lets not waste anymore time then, Helga_" She encouraged herself.

"_Now where are those maids?"_

* * *

_A/N: Just a tiny note. I made Frau Schmidt's first name up. I didn't know what her real firstname is/was and I had to think of something. So Helga it is.. Oh and I didn't come up with it.. A friend of mine did. So I won't take the credit for Helga's name. _


	7. Hurtful thoughts and content memories

**Disclaimer:**I do not own them. I own nothing. I'm nobody if you prefer that. I am just a girl with too much freaking imagination. The End

**A/N:** Once again I'd like to thank Bar for without her I wouldn't have written the last three chapters and I'd like to thank Loes for reading my story xD and of course I'd like to thank all the people who have reviewed. Without you I probably wouldn't have continued writing at all. Oh by the way, this chapter didn't take me that long to write, don't you think? I'm probably getting more time to write anyway because I'm almost done with school, the only thing that's left now are my exams. Hope I'll pass them. crosses fingers. Wish me luck :P

Now on with the story, here I present to you chapter seven:

Chapter 7: Hurtful thoughts and content memories. 

Sighing Maria descended the grand stairs of the Von Trapp Villa. Not for the first time she wondered how she managed to keep up with these children, but she had done a fairly good job up till now she had to admit. And they weren't even half as bad as she'd suspected. They actually were sweet and special.

She stopped and turned her head towards the three bedroom doors. Behind each of these doors two or three Von Trapp children lay now sound asleep. Or at least she'd like to think they had dozed of by now. The sceptical side of her knew better than that. Nevertheless she continued her way down-stairs, ignoring the soft voices that came from behind the doors whilst doing so.

Arriving down stairs she hastily looked around in hopes she wouldn't run into someone unexpected. Normally when she'd tucked the children in for the night she would stay upstairs in her own bedroom. But since she'd decided that she probably wouldn't get any sleep anyway she went in search for some sort of distraction and what could be a better distraction than a well written book? Seeing as the hallway looked positively empty she quickly made her way to the library.

Unfortunately upon arriving she noticed that the library was already occupied by someone. She considered briefly to make a silence retreat but upon turning around she knocked a big

expensive looking lamp over. It crashed to the floor making as much sound as a lamp could produce whilst hitting the floor. Maria looked horrified at the piece of furniture as she saw the tiny bulb flicker and then fade out. She silently cursed the object for it had revealed her presence to the person sitting at the library desk.

"Maria, dear you scared me." The Baroness said, with one hand clutched to her chest indicating that she indeed had been anxiously startled.

"I'm sorry, Baroness. I didn't mean to frighten you." Maria apologized. She quickly bend down to retrieve the lamp. Wonder above wonder it seemed to have survived its crash and the only thing that looked to have been broken was the little light bulb inside.

"I was just looking for something to read. I didn't expect someone to be still in here." Maria explained herself. Feeling a bit foolish for being caught wandering about the house by the one person she least wanted to run into.

"That's okay, dear. I guess I lost track of time while reading these travel guide books about Europe."

She held up a number of heavy looking travel guides. All with bright and beautiful pictures on the covers. No doubt showing the best places to be, in each country.

"It's hard to pick out a perfect destination for your honeymoon. Everything seems common when you compare it to the luckiest day of your life, don't you agree?"

Maria swallowed hard before longingly looking at the book closet. If she could just grab the first book she could get her hands on and make a quick exit maybe, just maybe she could pretend she hadn't heard the Baroness' hurtful words.

"Maria?" The Baroness looked questionably at her and she suddenly remembered the woman had asked her a question.

"Yes, of course." She said redirecting her gaze at the Baroness. She then quickly walked to the book closet trying to focus her attention on the old looking covers. She let her fingers slide along each book, reading the tittles, but they were not really getting through to her nonetheless.

"How have you been Maria?" The Baroness asked her. Just as she'd started to let the book tittles form meaning in her mind.

"Fine, I suppose." She absentmindedly spoke as she pulled out a thick book from an upper shelf and started to read the back.

"You suppose?" The Baroness asked almost interestedly.

Maria looked up from her book. Not quite knowing how to take this kind of interest in her well being from a woman like the Baroness.

"I'm doing fine." She rephrased herself, looking straight at the Baroness, hoping that her voice sounded as indifferent as she'd meant for it to sound.

"Good to hear that, Maria." She smiled at her almost looking sincere. Almost. But Maria knew better than to believe that the Baroness thought she was doing fine. And if she stayed any longer in the same room with her she might say things she'd regret later on. Deciding that the book she was currently holding was good enough to peek her interest, she was about to turn around and leave her spot when the Baroness once again turned her attention to Maria.

"You know. I actually thought the stone was a bit too big for me, what do you think?"

The Baroness directed her hand towards Maria's line of vision. She turned and looked at the glittering white diamante, that judging from the way it looked had been very expensive.

"It's beautiful." She honestly admitted, not being able to force down the little tremor in her voice that revealed itself once the soft words had left her.

"It is, isn't it? Yes, Georg really knows how to meld a woman's heart." Smiling she looked at the stone.

"Still I think it's a bit big." She concluded not really talking to Maria as she stated the quite obvious. Yes, it was big and beautiful.

"No, it's perfect." Maria disagreed. Feeling her stomach twist at the thought that the diamante indeed looked ever so perfect. And the person who wore it was perfect too. Perfect for the Captain. They would make the ideal couple. The kind of couple everyone would gossip about when their own world seemed everything but perfect. Yes, Everybody agreed on that well known fact, even she. She knew that she could never wear a diamante looking that perfect, for she wasn't perfect at all. What even made her think she stood a chance? She forced the thoughts aside. No, she didn't want to ponder this any longer. She knew those thoughts were inappropriate. She wouldn't think about them anymore. Because she knew it was impossible to have.

"Well, I'm going to sleep now, Baroness." She nodded her head to the woman in ways of saying good night and turned, ready to leave.

"Yes." The Baroness said perplexed. Still feeling a bit uneasy about Maria's honesty. A guilty feeling washed over her. Knowing that she'd hurt the young governess on purpose and that Maria had taken every blow with an almost frightening sincerity. It made her feel like a horrible person. So she made sure that her last words sounded as sincere as she could manage.

"Sweet dreams, Maria."

Maria gave a weak smile and left the library looking like a rabbit that had just escaped the mean claws of a lion. And she probably had, on some weird level, Elsa realized.

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A month had passed and Villa Von Trapp seemed busier than ever. Preparations for the wedding were the staff's top priority and if they had anytime left it would be spend on their usual routines; dusting, cleaning, preparing breakfast, lunch and dinner. The maids were going crazy and Frau Schmidt kept looking over their shoulders, breathing in their necks making sure everything went like it should. At the same time she also gained a new nickname with the maids; "The Bloodhound". Of course she knew about it. But being the patient woman she was, she kept that knowledge to herself. Remembering wise words someone once had said to her, "What comes around must go around."

Today was no different than the past weeks. Frau Schmidt was barking orders and maids were feverishly running around obeying "The Bloodhounds" wishes.

Brigitta giggled as she watched them dash by. Then suddenly stopped as they both threw an angry glance in her direction. Sighing the girl turned around in search of her brothers and sisters. She hadn't seen them since breakfast and she sure as hell wanted to know where they suddenly had disappeared to.

After having looked for them up-stairs she tried the living room. But no sign of them there either. Then the library, the kitchen, the cupboard under the stairs and she even dared to look in her fathers study. But it seemed as though they'd vanished. Finally when getting tired of looking in the house she decided to look for them in the back yard. At last there they were, all six of them sitting near the lake in the shadows of some trees.

"There you are." Brigitta exclaimed tiredly, making all six of them look around.

"What are you all out here for?"

"Look who's asking stupid questions all of a sudden." Friedrich lazily replied. Stretching his arms and idly getting up from his spot in the shadow.

Brigitta shrugged and slide down next to Louisa, under a big old tree.

"We're trying to avoid the madness inside." Liesl told her younger sister.

"Oh." Brigitta nodded her understanding. The wedding preparations were getting on her nerves too. For weeks now the Baroness had been talking about which colour would suit her wedding dress best or how many layers of butter cream frosting the wedding cake should contain. By now Brigitta had decided she would never get married. The horrible things people had to go through before finally getting married. It was just too much. Not to mention the fact she didn't even like her new soon to be step-mother.

Even Fräulein Maria had changed. Their always so lively governess seemed more distanced. There were often times when she felt silence in the presents of the Baroness and their father. Something she never had done before their engagement. To both Brigitta and Liesl it was obvious why. They were convinced there was a connection between their father and Fräulein, but it was harder to convince their other brothers and sisters of this fact. Even Louisa said they were both seeing ghosts. Yes, it was true Fräulein Maria acted quite normal when in their presence. They still played plenty of games. Went on outings at least once a week and beside that she also told them stories about the time she had spent on her mountain. About the rabbit she'd had when she'd turned five. And in return they would tell her stories about better times too.

"Are there any new developments?" Louisa asked lazily looking at the beautiful lake in front of her.

"The Baroness is picking out her fourth back-up wedding dress, if that's what you're meaning?"

Sighing Louisa plucked at the grass next to her. "What does someone need that much wedding dresses for?"

"She's probably afraid she'll stain them or something." Kurt mockingly joked.

Liesl heartedly laughed at Kurt's obvious observation. Somewhere she even knew he was right. The Baroness indeed was a concerned human being, a real perfectionist. It wouldn't surprise her if that indeed was the reason for owning four wedding dresses.

Her eyes rested on Marta and Gretl who both were playing sweetly with a few sticks that were suppose to resemble people. They were wildly having an imaginative conversation with the sticks and each other. The sight of it made her smile. Sometimes she wished she could be seven again and play with her dolls. She missed that feeling.

"How long do you suppose it'll take before they notice we're gone?" Louisa looked at her eldest sister.

"Until they come find us." She replied never taking her eyes of her two youngest sisters who by now had found a rock and had turned it into an imaginative carriage.

-----------------------------------------

Darkness had consumed the Villa and its surroundings. Just like many nights before, it felt comforting to Maria. She'd never feared darkness; on the contrary, she'd always welcomed it. As she walked down the steps to the garden she let out a heavy sigh.

Nights like these had always been able to take away most of her sorrows and she felt she needed it, especially now. She welcomed the silence, the stars, the moon and the soft comforting breeze. It offered her a temporary escape from the events that had been going on for weeks now.

Parts of her felt relieved that it would all be over soon. Another part of her felt consumed by a heavy darkness. She knew that returning to the abbey, going back to the safe walls and the only family she had ever known, should give her a feeling of happiness, relieve even, but it didn't. Not even a tiny bit. Leaving the Villa, the children, her employer. It felt like more of a loss than a relieve.

The moon was shining over the calm lake, giving it a peaceful, almost drowsy look. Maria watched how the water sparkled in soft beams of the moonlight. Although it wasn't a full moon, it still looked magical.

She quietly hugged herself and rubbed her arms as a gentle cold breeze swept over her. It was getting late, she'd put the children to bed hours ago but she felt resentment about going back into the house, going back to bed. Deciding to just enjoy the beauty of Mother Nature a few moments longer she slide down a big old willow tree near the lake and closed her eyes. Relaxing into the sounds of silence.

"Good-evening, Fräulein."

Startled Maria looked up in the direction of the person who'd greeted her. She hastily got up as the dark figure moved closer. Not focusing on how she was getting up, she stumbled over her feat and was just able to hold her balance when she heard the person let out a low chuckle at the sight of her clumsiness.

"I can see, at least one of use is enjoying themselves, Captain." Maria threw at her employer; a bit embarrassed about the way he'd seem to startle her every time he got unnoticed near her. However, she had to admit that clumsiness always had been a quality she'd probably inherited from her family.

"My apologizes." He bowed his head gracefully. She smiled.

"Apology accepted."

"Might I ask what you're still doing up at this time of night, Fräulein?" The Captain inquired. Curious about her motives. He'd never seen her before while taking one of his late night walks through the gardens. An old habit he'd picked up a month ago. Something that shouldn't have become a habit again.

"I couldn't sleep." She simply stated as she slide down the tree again and looked at the lake.

"Any particular reason?" He asked and sat down next to her looking in the same direction she was looking at.

"It's a beautiful night, Captain. How could any person possibly sleep through that?"

He chuckled at her obviousness.

"It indeed is."

They remained silent for a while, both enjoying the night and without either of them ever admitting it, each others company.

"You know." The Captain started, breaking the silence.

Maria turned her attention towards her employer

"I was wondering the other day." He nervously scratched his head.

"You never really told us what it was that made you want to become a non. With all due respect you seem so different from the other non's I've met."

"Yes." She agreed and looked down at the grass that lay between them. Although she had been ecstatic about joining the abbey a few years ago, she'd always known she would stick out like a red flower in a field of yellow roses. Being quiet and serene had never been one of Maria's best qualities. Speaking before she was spoken to, causing trouble when in fact she meant well, were things that defined her perfectly.

"Well, at first it provided an escape, I guess."

"An escape?" The Captain observed knowing they were entering more private territory about Maria's life.

"I suppose." She looked up, finding confused blue eyes looking back at her. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw how intense they were focused upon hers and she hastily re-directed her gaze towards the murmuring water. She sighed and hugged her knees tighter to her body.

"But soon they taught me things about God and his ways and they accepted me for the person I am, which almost instantly made me feel part of their family."

"What did you try to escape from? If I may be so blunt." The Captain dared asking, still contemplating her first and foremost reason for joining the non's at Nonnberg abbey.

She considered his question for a moment as she watched how the moon still shone brightly above the lake, giving their faces a white shadowy look.

"Certain memories." She spoke. Wanting to observe his reaction, she turned to face him. His eyes looked concerned, at a lose for what to say. It had never dawned on to him that Maria's memories of her own past had caused her more pain than pleasure. He suddenly realized she had walls around her being as well as he'd had, but hers could been seen and reflected in happiness and energetic tomboyish activities, she used as a mean to escape memories from her past.

"I'm very sorry to hear that, Maria."

"Yes, so am I." As she felt how sudden tears pricked in her eyes she quickly looked away, not

wanting to share anymore of her unexpected vulnerability. Wiping away the few tears that without her approval had still found their way down her cheeks, she suddenly felt a hand on her knee and immediately stiffened.

"You don't always have to be so brave, Fräulein." He squeezed her knee and she relaxed the slightest bit as his hand remained where it touched the soft fabric of her dress.

"I wish that were true, Captain." She answered trying to keep her voice steady but failing at doing so.

"If there's one thing you've taught me, it would be not to walk away from your fears."

She smiled through her tears at the irony of her own words being passed back at her.

"Touché." She replied laughingly. He was right. She realized, more than right even. Although she hadn't really told him much about her passed. He seemed to be more than understanding about how it had affected her.

She softly shivered as a much colder breeze touched her skin. Goosebumps formed on her arms and she rubbed them trying to get the warmth back that had gone lost to the wind.

Having noticed her shiver the Captain looked down at his pocket watch, seeing that the hands were close pointing to midnight, he thought it to be high time to call it a night.

"It's getting colder and late, maybe we should go back inside." He opted, at the same time lifting his hand from Maria's knee and getting up from the grass. The sudden absence of his touch left her bewildered. A part of her had liked the way his hand had tried to comforter her.

However, it hadn't really been appropriate either. She shook it off. Concentration on her surroundings again as he offered his hand to her.

She took it and as he was helping her up, she noticed their hands.

Standing there being able to support her own legs to hold her up now, he still didn't let go of her. Having noticed the same thing, he too looked down where their palls touched and fingers met.

As the moment went on Maria suddenly withdrew her hand. Just like their dance this touch had held more meaning than she was able to admit. Frightened by the intensity of feelings that run to her for a second time that evening, she took a few steps backwards.

Not being able to see his stare anymore for it had disappeared behind a shadow. He could see hers, full of doubt and fear she once again carefully shadowed behind her own wall of unravelled secrets.

"Goodnight, Captain." She finally said, when the silence turned unbearably

She hastily dashed by him, not waiting for him to reply or to even stop her. He let her go. Knowing time would reveal Maria's secrets when it was ready to.


End file.
